Dialogue

In our ongoing efforts to encourage the flow of meaningful communication, answer often asked questions, and share information and ideas that may be of value to visitors to this site, we have established Dialogue. Now in its second phase, Dialogue is a compendium of email exchanges between ourselves and persons who visit this site. We will be updating this feature about every six months.

To qualify for inclusion in Dialogue, emails must make relevant commentary, ask a question not already asked and answered, or offer some ideas or concepts that we believe will be of interest to others. Only the sender’s first name and age (if provided) will appear with an email; all other personal information, including email address, will be extracted from the communication before it is added to Dialogue. If you send us an email and you prefer that it not be included in Dialogue, simply tell us so in the email – we honor all such requests.

Please note that I do not have direct internet access. For the present, until I am released from prison, I am able to communicate via email only with Barbara’s help. When communication is most urgent we do this by telephone, and otherwise, most often, by regular mail. Bear this in mind if you send me an email with the hope of receiving a reply. I generally answer all of the personal emails I receive, but I may not be able to answer yours as quickly as you may be accustomed to, so please be patient.

If you have a question someone else has not thought to ask, a story or concept you wish to share, or you just want to get something off your chest, email me. I look forward to reading what’s on your mind.

Bobby BeauSoleil

I’m 41 yrs old, and have been following this story since i was 16. i have done some research and found that the average time spent in jail for murder is 8-10 yrs, so how is it possible that bobby has spent over 30 yrs in jail? what are his chances of getting out in the not to distant future? again thank you for taking the time to answer my e-mail.
Bill

That's a good question, Bill, to which there is no easy answer. It could be argued that the Manson association is at least partly responsible for this incomprehensible situation. But there is no way of knowing this for sure, because other prison inmates with life sentences under the California system's jurisdiction are being treated in exactly the same way, and have been for the past dozen years or so. There has been a virtual moratorium on parole for lifers during that time. We are all hoping that the new Schwarznegger administratin will institute more sensible policies.

I continue to be confident in my belief that I will be paroled in due course. A lot of people are pulling for me, and I approach the future with optimism.

Bobby

Hi, Bobby,
I was just reading some of the accomplishments you've made while "on the inside" and want to commend you for not letting the walls crush your creative spirit. I am currently on the road and have very little time, but I would love to learn more about your intervention with "at risk" youth. Also, could you tell me more about your video series that is aimed at breaking the cycle of recidivism.
Thank you so much and best of luck.
Carmen Hughes

Carmen,
Thank you for writing and for your kind thoughts. Unfortunately, I am not as active with the youth intervention programs as I was in years past. Budget cuts and a much more conservative (less progressive) prison administration has severely restricted the youth programs here. Very sad, because they were getting results. I worked with the Los Hermanos youth program for five years, and was on their board of directors. I produced a viedo series that took the program into a number of public schools. I subsequently spent two years making a 40 minute video called "Life in a World Behind Bars: A story told by prisoners," which gives a very realistic and no-holds view of prison life, with candid commentary by prison inmates. This video is used in youth facilities and public schools, and has been used in staff training.

Most of the work I have done for programs aimed at reducing recidivism were done for Gordon Graham and Company. They develop very well-designed cognitive skills development programs. I directed and helped to develop most of the videos used for these cognitive skills development programs, such as the Breaking Barriers and On Solid Ground programs. The best way to learn more about them is to contact Gordon Graham and Company. They have a web site, but I don't have the URL on hand. A search on Google should turn up the contact information.

Thanks again for writing.

Bobby

I am a recent law school graduate, but my under grad work was in film, music production. I would love to learn more about the series you are doing on kids at risk. I believe the children today as in any era are influenced and are trying to express how they feel through their music.

There is so much anger in the youth today which are being expressed through the music but it does not seem to be getting through to anyone. Unfortunately it is the underprivileged children who suffer the most.

I worked at the juvenile division of the Detroit Prosecutors office last summer and it became clear if they are not reached by age 8 or 9 they are confirmed to a life in prison.

Please send me information on your current projects.
Margaret

Hi Margaret,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, budget cuts and administrative policy changes have resulted in the suspension of the video productions program here at the institution, as well as rather severe reductions in the level of support given to the at-risk youth programs. These are troubling times. We hope that these changes are temporary, and that the programs will be restored to a higher level of activity at some point. For the required advocacy to manifest, the administration must recognize the value of these programs. We wait and hope.

There might be some value in contacting:

Los Hermanos Youth Program
c/o Staff Advisor
Oregon State Penitentiary
2605 State Street
Salem, OR 97310

The program, what remains of it, may still be using the video series I produced for them about four years or so ago, and you may be able to order a set from them. I have produced other videos targeting at-risk youth, but at this point I don't know how you might obtain copies of them. This is unfortunate, as they are higher quality and have demonstrated effectiveness. When the video program reopens, these videos will again be available.

As you have noted, disenfranchised youth is an ongoing tragedy of frightening magnitude. More prisons are being built for today's kids than schools. Prison inmates who have "been there" can be a valuable resource, but it will take everyone pulling together - the entire community at every level - to bring about effective and lasting change. Sadly, most of the people we look to for leadership in this area put most of their energy into making excuses, perpetuating the belief that such efforts are futile. It is not an exercise in futility, in my belief.

Good luck,
Bobby

Hi Bobby,
not quite sure if you' ll ever get a chance to read this but decided to give it a shot anyway! My name is Gus im 27 years old. I've followed your case within the manson case for a few years now reading books like Helter Skelter and others like it. The down side of it is, is that that you never know how much is true and how much is "romance" . Frustrating! You're to me one of the most interesting people in the case. You seem to be a very well put together guy. It's amazing to me how you've ended up where you have. What was it like? The time, the people, everything. What was "Sadie" like? I've visited the ranch several times. Looking for ghosts i guess. And my imagination just starts to run away with me. I start to imagine you guys there just living your lives in a time that seems so goddamn unreachable. Im horribly curious!! I hope this finds you. Thanks Bobby!
Gus

Hi Gus,

Thank you for your recent email.

I find it hard to believe that Spahn Ranch could still be there after all these years, as it was a relic when I knew it. You probably mean the location where it was. A long time ago I had heard that there were plans to build some sort of resort on the property, but I don't know if anything actually came of them.

I can certainly sympathize with your desire to know more about what actually happened with Charlie et al these many years ago. I understand your frustration. Most of what has been written has been exploitation - the events and the people seen through the eyes of fear and sold to a public with an insatiable lust for vicariously experienced violence and excitement. This applies to both Helter Skelter movies, as well of course. For me it is like seeing the events and the people I knew reflected in a funhouse mirror. This has deprived a great many people, such as yourself, an opportunity to understand what happened.

I remember Sadie as a young woman with an insatiable need for attention, regardless of consequences. But I really can't answer all the questions you have about the people and what happened, not like this anyway. I am working on a book that I hope will give you and others a better opportunity to get to know the people as I knew them, and the events we all became swept up in. Please be patient. However, check in on the site from time to time, as we will be updating it with new material on occasion.

Very best,
Bobby

I wanted to ask a question if you don't mind. Does your husband still stay in contact with any of the other manson member and what does he think about the movies that are made about all of them?  Does he regret ever being involved?

Ice Dixie

Ice Dixie,
Barbara forwarded your email to me so that I could answer your questions.

No, I have not maintained contact with Manson or any of his followers. All of that is ancient history to me now.

So far, the movies that have been made have been gross distortions of the story I know, and the people who were actually involved. I hope that one will be made that gives everyone a better representation of those people and events, one that encourages greater understanding.

Yes, I have deeply regretted my participation in the events of 35 years ago. At some point one must move beyond the regret and begin the process of mending. I have moved on.

Thank you for your interest,
Bobby

Greetings..!

Though I'm afraid my own musical proclivities do not extend to electronic practice, simply a general familiarization, I found myself quite interested in Bobby's take on the nature of sound, in general. I'm 33 and have been immersed, since i was a wee one, in the great arch of historical music from the Byzantine until our current times - (with, wince wince, a specialty in the "resistance" piano music of the Stalinist composer).

I wonder, Barbara, if you could pass on the following question.

Many "art" composers, particularly of European origin and training, chose electronic idioms, then - as they aged - returned to an expanded type of symphony orchestra, through which it's apparent that various instruments are treated in quasi-electronic ways. I'm speaking primarily of the "mobile" sounds of the Lutoslawski symphonies (2, 3, and 4), or the "aleatoric" interpretations of durations of note-groups (at time-intervals chosen by the performer!).

   This sort of music is extremely notated, and very precise, yet differs from other music of the European art tradition in that it returns some aspect of control to the actual players. The result is often luminous and shimmering; "waves" of soundgroups, orchestral, yet rather akin to the sound of windchimes, or even traffic - only placed within gorgeous, hugely glowing lyric contexts. Does Bobby read or write music, at all, and has he a familiarity with this  '60s development in Western music? The reason I ask, is that it seems to me that this sort of "performer-freedom" within a larger, *written* framework (i.e. the score!) is rather analogous in terms to the situation of a creative artist within the parametres of the prison system.

    There is plenty of great, lyrical music to be had in these pieces of music, and also plenty of awful theoretic treatises by musicologists on aleatory. Despite the strict processes of these symphonies, there's an incredibly radiant, luxurious freedom inside the structures, as well.

     Lutoslawski, before his death in '94, completed his 4th symphony, which is a summation of his life's work. Even the Pulitzer, though, does not make his name recognizable to those outside the field.

     Perhaps I shall forward some of these translucent recordings - the master himself, conducting - to Bobby.

Best wishes,

Roger

Hello Roger,

Thank you for sharing your interesting and thought provoking insights. I have nowhere near your diverse knowledge of musical traditions, and virtually no formal education in music. In fact, I have lived much of my life in a kind of musical vacuum, with only spotty exposure to music beyond the mainstream. This is part of the nature of the environment in which I have lived for three and a half decades. The one helpful asset this has given me is a compensatory inventiveness in my approach to music that may contribute a degree of originality to my compositions and performances.

The "art" composers you refer to may not have chosen electronic idioms by preference, initially, but rather out of expedience. Composers of instrumental music generally rely upon a diversity and complexity of timbres and voicings in lieu of lyrics vocalized by a human singer. For many, orchestras are simply out of reach. Electronic instruments provide a shortcut to a broad sonic palette, and a way to perform complex arrangements with small ensembles, or even single-handedly. This is certainly true in my case, although I did develop a passion for the electronic medium as well, in the course of becoming familiar with it. However, if I were given an opportunity to compose for a real symphony orchestra I would jump on it in a heartbeat.

I am able to read and write traditional music notation, if rather haltingly. I prefer to compose using a MIDI sequencer, which provides the option of composing using traditional notation for pitch, duration and dynamics, along with a sort of "piano roll" style method that serves the same purpose, with translation between the two methods, both of which can be combined with input via direct real time performance.

If you have not yet heard examples of my music, recordings are available online at www.whitedogmusic.com. Some .mp3 format recordings are available as free downloads from the site, though most people find the CDs much more satisfying.

Your description of Lutoslawski's symphonies are fascinating. I wish you could send me some recorded examples, but this is not allowed by prison rules. The concept of "aleatoric" interpretations is especially intriguing. Although I am certain the styles are vastly different, my own compositions generally begin as frameworks for spontaneous performances.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

Best,
Bobby

Bobby (or Barbara),

I felt compelled to write to you today.  I stumbled upon an interview that you did where you talked about, and I got to know, the person you were before the events that led to your incarceration.  I have always (unfortunately) had a weird fascination with the "Manson Family" and had always considered you to be a deeply connected part of that group.  Until, that is, I read more  about you.  I must say that I am relieved to know that you weren’t some awful, horrible monster as you have always been shown to be.  I am a middle aged woman who feels as if I have been living in my own prison for so many years.  Only I have no release date, nor a date for a parole hearing.  I have come to find that the hardest job that I may face is "finding myself".  Realizing why I'm here and what my meaning and purpose is on earth.  I am also deeply moved by music, and find it most times to be a stabilization tool.  In fact, it is usually the only thing that calms me and helps me rationalize with this world that I live in.  Unfortunately, I am not musically inclined.  I just want to say that your story has touched me, and thank you.  You did not succumb to the world in which you found yourself (prison).  You have made a difference in other's lives and you have managed to continue learning as well as to become a teacher of sorts.  Anyway, I hope that you are able to receive this...because your story did reach and touch me.

Butter Fly

Butter Fly,

Thank you so much for writing. I appreciate knowing that my story has touched you in a meaningful way. I empathize with the feelings you express regarding the nature of your own life. I recommend that you keep searching those feelings for the keys to your own liberation. After all, butterflies do emerge from their prisons, and I truly believe that you will ultimately realize the freedom of your namesake.

You mention music as a stabilizing and healing tool. A few years ago I composed and recorded a piece of music entitled "Mantra" that many people swear by for just this purpose, which was in fact the purpose it was composed for. It is available online (or by mail order) at www.whitedogmusic.com. You will find my other CD titles there as well.

I wish you good health.
Bobby

Dear Bobby,

My name is Dan and I hail from Holden, MA.  Let me just say first off I am not going to waste your time with questions or comments regarding Manson or Tate/Labianca.  Although I was introduced to your music when I heard excerpts from Lucifer Rising in the documentary Charles Manson Superstar, am an avid collector of Manson memorabilia and have my own opinions and views on the whole case, I will keep it all to myself as I understand your degree of lack of relevance to said case.  I can understand how frustrating it can be when everybody has the wrong idea about you and doesn't stop hounding you about it.  I would just like to tell you that I received the Lucifer Rising soundtrack just this morning and was blown away.  I can't begin to say how inspiring it is to hear something so beautiful and hypnotic come from someone in such a constrictive situation.  I don't know how familiar you are with various subgenres of rock, but I am the frontman for an unstable glam/punk band called Fist Socket.  I can write decent lyrics when inspiration hits me, but it seems to hit me less and less lately.  Also, it's a real bitch trying to find bandmates who share in my plans and are willing to go as far as I am.  As a musician and recording artist, what advice can you offer to someone in such a situation?  Also, if you are at all interested, I would like to send you some of my lyrics just to get a bit of constructive criticism from someone with talent and experience.  They're a little on the harsh, angry side just to warn you.  I hope to hear from you soon. 

Dan

Hi Dan,

Thanks for writing to let me know how much you are enjoying my recordings for the Lucifer Rising soundtrack. You may be interested in knowing that a deluxe edition double-CD release of the Lucifer Rising soundtrack (professionally pressed and packaged, not a CD-R) will be hitting store shelves on June 15, 2004. It is being released on the Arcanum label, and they did a great job putting it together. The second disk contains some excerpts from my earlier work, including the long-lost recording I did for the film back in 1967, and an alternate version from the later 70s recordings that did not make the cut (though some people like it even more than the actual soundtrack). There is also a 28-page booklet with lots of photos, an intro by Kenneth Anger, and a history of the project by Michael Moynihan. The release will be available on the White Dog Music site (www.whitedogmusic.com), as well as on Amazon, and numerous other places, including (a first for me, other than the bootlegs) record stores.

It is, as you say, "a real bitch" to find bandmates with common aspirations and goals, and hopefully the right talents. The only advice I can offer is to keep looking. And when you find any likely candidates, be willing to listen and incorporate their unique contributions (unless you can afford to pay them to shut up and do what you say), because that is what musical collaboration is all about.

You may email me some of your lyrics and I'll take a look at them. I don't know what feedback I could offer that might be of value to you. Remember, I do mostly instrumental music.

Thanks again,
Bobby

DEAR BOBBY,

     I THINK ALOT ABOUT YOUR LIFE STORY. WHERE YOU WERE, AND WHERE YOU ARE TODAY. THE 60'S WERE SO CHAOCTIC. PLUS LSD IS SUCH A POWERFUL DRUG. ITS HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHAOS, AND LSD DON'T REALLY GO TOGETHER VERY WELL. WHO IS TO BLAME? THE TRUTH IS WE ALL ARE.

 I DON'T BELIEVE MURDER IS RIGHT IN ANY WAY. I AM NOT A JUDGE. I SEE HERE IN NEW YORK PEOPLE GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER EVERYDAY. EITHER THAT OR THEY GET OUT IN 10 YEARS. WHY ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT?

 LIFE IS SO STRANGE , BUT BEAUTIFUL. EVERY MINUTE OF LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS. THE REAL TRIP IS REALITY, LOL!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SERIOUS. REALITY IS THE BIGGEST TRIP.

 I THINK ITS GREAT YOUR REACHING OUT TO HELP OTHERS. THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. I THINK THATS WHAT WE WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH TO DO. THERES NOTHING LIKE REACHING OUT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

 I USED TO TOUR WITH THE GRATEFUL DEAD. AM I A DEAD HEAD? I WILL ALWAYS BE A HEAD, AND THE WAY THEY TAUGHT ME TO LIVE AND LOVE OTHERS.I LOVE ALL MUSIC. I AM A MUSIC JUNKIE. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THOSE DAYS WERE GOING TO EVER END. I THOUGHT JERRY WOULD LIVE FOREVER.  IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT WE REALLY BETTER MAKE THE MOST OF THIS THING CALLED LIFE.

 I JUST FELT LIKE DROPPING YOU A LINE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. BE WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                        

  :) LEAH

Hi Leah,

Thank you for writing.

May I offer a bit of advice? Avoid using all caps when you write. IT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE YOU'RE SHOUTING!

Otherwise, it's a treat to hear from a Dead head. I would not go so far as to refer to myself by that term, but I've always loved the Dead. I had the pleasure of living near them in the Haight back in the day, and there were a couple of occasions when me and my bandmates in The Orkustra played gigs with the Dead.

It is sad that Jerry is no longer in a condition to give us more of his great music, because he's truly Dead. But he gave us so much, he and the band, so much good music and so many good times. He will always be a part of what we do, and for that we can be truly Grateful.

You be well too.

Bobby

I am a college student doing some research on the Manson Family. I am trying to track down and figure out the best books to refer to (that was actually written by someone in the family).
Thank you for your time and any help that you may offer.
Nikki

Nikki,
I'm afraid that I can't help you much in your quest. The books by Susan Atkins and Charles Watson were obviously motivated by some evangelical agenda. When I looked at them there was little that resonated as honest to me. The book "Manson in His Own Words" appears to contain some of Manson's words, but much is license taken by the author, making the whole thing more than a little suspect. The best one, so I've been told (I have not read it), is "My Life With Charlie" by Paul Watkins. This book is out of print, and you may have some difficulty finding a copy.

I am presently working on a book that will offer my unique perspective on the events in question, and the people involved. There is still much work to do on it, and unless you are slower at your college studies than I am at writing books, it is unlikely to be of value to you in your research. Meanwhile the interviews on the site may be of some help.

Good luck,
Bobby

Dear Bobby--

How do you live with the unspeakable horrors of that time??  Didn't something tell you all that there was something terribly wrong with Mr. Manson and the others and that the acid was dangerous? You all could have been so much more.  I pray for all of you and the dead.  I mean no offense--rather I want to understand.  Help me understand.  Did you watch the movie on CBS Sunday evening??  Was it accurate??  Was the acting pretty decent?

I appreciate your reply, sir.  thank-you.

Mary

Dear Mary,

I understand your desire to understand. Had you gone deeper into the site than you apparently did, and read the interviews, articles, and Dialogue, some of your questions would have been answered.

Yes, I forced myself to watch the remake of the Helter Skelter movie on CBS last Sunday. If the real Charles Manson had behaved as he was portrayed in the movie, no one would have had anything to do with him. The same is true of most of those represented as characters in the film. The acting was less of a problem than a script that was crippled at birth by a mean-spirited interpretation of the events and the people who were involved in them. The one aspect of the film that seemed fairly accurate to me, as with the book it was based on, is Vincent Bugliosi's opinion of himself and his relationship with the world in which he lived at the time.

One day a book will be written that will help you to reach a better understanding of those horrible tragedies. And perhaps a movie will be based on it. Until then, avoid being too quick to believe what some would have you believe.

Bobby

Dear Mr Beausoleil,

I've just finished reading Helter Skelter for the 4th time.  What a remarkable story and what a remarkable change you've made in your life.  It is commendable that you have used your time in the system to better yourself-to create, rather than to harbor resentment towards the society that you once seemed to shun.  I was born the year you were incarcerated, so it is hard for me to relate to those turbulent times, but I feel that we are rapidly moving towards turbulent times once again.  I hope that your program of outreach to young people continues to be successful, it's important.  I'm a musician too, and I truly believe that music, the arts, creating...those are the only things that truly teach compassion, and that appears to be what you have learned, and more importanly, what you're passing on.  I hope that is what your legacy is.  Good luck to you and keep doing what you're doing.

Most sincerely,

Dail

Dear Bobby

I just stumbled across your website while during a bit of research about the 70's. You have been through a lot over the years, and have done a lot of prison time. We all make mistakes in life, and you seem to be be doing a lot of positive things in your life at the moment. I hope things work out for you.

Keep the faith and be positive.

Regards

Daniel

I saw your web page and am very intrigued by all you have accomplished.  I just wanted to let you know there are people out here that think your efforts to improve yourself are remarkable.      Keep up the good work!

 God Bless

Amy

 
Hi there,
Firstly, my name is Ksenya and I am a teenager from Sydney, Australia. I realise you most probably haven't updated your website in years, but I just wanted to email you in the hope that you might receive it!
I only heard about Charles Manson a few weeks ago, and was so intrigued by what I had heard that I went on to read various accounts of the Manson Family, and stumbled across your website. I just find it so amazing how some people can change so much, like your husband, and you two do so much with your lives. And it also amazes me how some people DON'T change - like Charlie. Although, I believe that he is just perceived to me some kind of maniac, and in fact everyone is a maniac in their own right, and there is no right or wrong way of being.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you and your husband are a huge inspiration to me, and that I can only dream of achieving as much as you two.
 
Cheers,
Ksenya
 
 

I am so glad you have had a productive life, even though it has been in prison. Is there any chance you will ever get out? I personally think anyone that has ever been associated with Charles Manson is doomed just because of the connection. Society doesn't want to know that a "family member" might be walking the streets, god forbid. I'm sure you have long paid your debts to society, so for whatever it is worth, I wish you and your family all the good luck you could hope for.

Take Care

Victoria

Such words of encouragement are always welcome, and I am very grateful for the sentiments. They are strong indicators that understanding, compassion and forgiveness are possible when given the opportunity and fertile ground in which to grow. I like to believe there is a possibility they may eventually extend to the parole board, leading to my being allowed to go home to my loved ones.

It has been awhile since we updated the site, and we are planning to do so in the near future. One of the things that have changed is my involvement with youth outreach programs. Although some of the videos I have made are still being used in schools and youth facilities, at present I am not directly involved with any formal youth intervention programs. This development was not by my personal choice. A combination of fiscal conservatism and changes in the guiding philosophies within the administration of the prison where I live has resulted in severe cuts to the youth programs at this institution. This development is tragic - and hopefully temporary. I continue to believe in the value of these programs. The reenfranchisement of today's young people is essential to living in a safe and sane world tomorrow. An integral part of this process, particularly for young people who are at risk of gang involvement or already in gangs, is an opportunity to learn from persons who have made serious mistakes, and who have learned from the consequences of those mistakes. In this way it may be possible for at least some at-risk young people to avoid some of the many pitfalls in their path. This benefits everyone.

My story will remain on the web site, and will be updated from time to time. Open forums are also planned. In this way my experiences may continue to be of value to active youth outreach programs, and to other who may benefit from learning about them.

Thanks again for the encouragement.

Bobby

I was just curious if you seen the two helter skelter films, and if so which one was the closest to reality. It seemed to me that the second film was a little far fetched. Anyways thanks.

No, it was the first Helter Skelter movie that was a little far-fetched. The second one came from another planet completely.
Bobby

Dear Mr. BeauSoleil,

I have read quite a bit about you and I think you are a very interesting person. I read that you have recieved inquiries about your life, and it seems like you prefer not to respond, but what I want to ask you has nothing to do with what you have previously been questioned about. I should tell you that I saw this on a website having to do with....well, you know, and I am not asking this for a school report or any other reason, just for me. I saw a picture of your Dodge Power Wagon and I was just wondering how it became a posession of someone who puts pictures of it on the websites like it's a source of fame. I know this seems like a strange question, but if you have time, I would like to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Katie,

Actually, it's not a strange question at all. I find it interesting.

First, however, I have a question for you. If it is true as you say that I "prefer not to respond" to inquiries about my life, how is it you came to know so much about me? I am working on making my life more of an open book.

Regarding your question. I don't know how the person you mention came to be in possession of my old Power Wagon, assuming it's the same one (actually, I had two of them for awhile). Why a photo of it would be put up on a web site is anyone's guess. There's a cool factor in those old trucks, if you're into that sort of thing. Maybe it's just a matter of pride. I would love to have a copy of the picture, if you would be willing to email one to me.

Thanks for your interest.

Bobby

 
Hi again,
 
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my email! It really got me thinking - why are you still in jail? I just don't understand how someone like you who is so obviously "reformed", as they like to say, is still in jail while others go to prison for a few years, are released and simply return to jail soon anyway, after committing another crime. Keeping someone in jail should be, really, to help them see that they have done something "wrong", in the eyes of society, and help them to change their ways. So if they have changed, like you, how does it help to keep someone who is simply trying to make this world a better place, locked up?
 
There's always more than one side to the story, but it just doesn't seem logical to me.
 
Cheers,
Ksenya
 
 

Hi Ksenya,

Nobody seems to be able to answer that question in a manner that is truly satisfying. There are all the reasons you mentioned, why I should have been released long ago. Those seem to make sense to most people. The ones given for why not make little sense at all under close scrutiny. Some say it has to do with the level of fear in the world; US society seems to be most suseptible to that. Others say it's political (which probably ties in with the fear factor), while others say it's economic (which probably ties in with the political aspect). Trying to figure it all out hurts my head. Ultimately, all I can do is the best I can do to be the kind of person who can be considered of value in the world in which I live, and let the world respond as it will. I have long since come to terms with the fact that I can not "make" the world be the way I think it ought to be.

I wish you were on the parole board!

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Bobby

Hello Bobby and Barbara!

   I came across your webpage and was highly impressed with your story. I am a 28 year old 2nd grade school teacher in West Virginia. I find it wonderful that you send such a positive message to prisoners that they can have such an active life even while incarcerated. I find your story very inspirational and (being a teacher) I was really impressed by your work with the Hermanos Youth Intervention Program and the general message of your website. Thank You and I hope you keep sharing your message and your story ! Thank you!

Sara

Hi Sara,

No, thank you! Your comments are very welcome. They give us heart.

Your work as a 2nd grade school teacher is important too, moreso than the work I've been involved in with teenage youth. It's in the earlier years that some children begin to feel disenfranchised and sink into patterns of withdrawal that can lead to serious troubles later. This happened with me. The quality of relationships between students and teachers plays a major role. It is easier to relate to the kids who are engaged and fail to notice the ones who are not, when it may well be that those with the most potential (both for achievement and trouble later in life) are children who seem bored, distracted and disinterested because they are not being challenged enough. No, I don't have any real world experience as a grade school teacher, but I once was such a student.

I shall do my best to continue putting out a positive message. It is not easy to remain actively creative and positive while in prison. One must fight for the opportunities and work hard to maintain them. I am determined to contribute meaningfully, even if all I have to work with is paper and pencil.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Bobby

Dear Mr. Beausoleil,

Hi. My name is Ali and I am 14 years old. For the past year and a half, I have become quite fascinated with "Charlie" and the family. I have both versions of the Helter Skelter movie. I came across your site and found your email address and just wanted to ask you a few questions. And I hope I am not bothering you. Do you regret what you did when with Charlie and the family? Have you spoken to Charlie or any members of the family since most of you all went to prison? How did you become part of the family and what was it like to be part of it?

This may sound "odd", but sometimes I feel like I just want to be Charlie and if not just be with the family, even though I do not even know any of you. As of now, would you want to be back with the family?

Again, I really hope I am not bothering you. If you can, please email me back as soon as possible.

  Sincerely,

     Ali

Dear Ali,

Thank you for writing.

The so-called "Manson Family" is a fiction of the media, and does not really exist but in the imaginations of some. What you say that you sometimes want to be a part of lives in ancient history, and what you've seen in the movies you mention or books you may have read are only distorted glimpses of what was. It would be unwise to put much credence to them.

Sure, I have had my share of regrets. You can read all about them on the web site. But one can't live in the past. Truly, that is simply not possible. It came time for me to move on, and my advice to you is to do the same.

With kind regards,
Bobby

Only Jesus can wash away the vile acts you committed. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe with your heart that he rose again and He will wash away our sins. Only He can set you straight, or else you will burn in hell like the rest of the MURDERERS you live with. Jesus truly accepts all.

David R.

Is this what Jesus would do?

Peace, brother.
Bobby

Yes as a matter of fact He holds all sinners accountable and when they accept Him He forgives them. He is the only thing that sets us free from the sin we commit here in our earthly lives. We all sin, however we can be made righteous from our sin and that is through the precious blood of the lamb. However, if we don't accept what He did on the cross for us, then our sins are counted against us. "The wages of sin is death." The Bible tells us that in the end the only thing that God will ask us is "What did you do with my son Jesus?" Our response will dictate if its the lake of fire or the Holy City for us. I'm going to the Holy City.
 
It is the only religion that doesn't require some earthly works, because Jesus did them already!
 
Jesus was never afraid to call a spade a spade and that is because Jesus IS LORD!
 
Peace to you.
David R.
 

Thank you, David. I appreciate that you have shared your beliefs with me. My point was that it is not our job to judge others as to who will or will not be forgiven by the Christ. We are human beings, and though we have a direct line to the divine, we are not divine. We don't always know - in fact, we rarely know - what is in the heart's of other men and women. I believe the Christ would have us assume that we are all forgiven, in the way that we treat one another.

Peace,
Bobby

 
 
 
Bobby,
 You are absolutely right, it is not our place to judge whats in the hearts of others. I think I like that point you made that Jesus would have us assume all are forgiven in the way that we treat one another. I apologize for coming off so harsh.
Thanks,
Peace to you. 
Dave
 

Your reply means a lot to me, David, especially as it was so unexpected. It was not my intention to change your beliefs in any way. Any exchange that leads to better understanding serves the truth, and anything that serves the truth serves the divine. I'm very grateful for this opportunity.
Peace,
Bobby

I have read "helter skelter" several times. --------- I found your since (version) of what happened to Hinman and the court's version interesting. I can understand the prosecutor had say what was required to get a conviction.  I hope you can get your parole soon; ---- I am also happy for you-----that you have been able to create such a rich life for your self.----- We are about the same age, and when I think about it, I came close to have gotten into some serious problems, when I was 20/21.---- could have gone to jail.     Hinman was an idiot not to made a good faith attempt to come up with the money. He should have never let things go so far. You can borrow, pawn, sell, etc.----- I would have said here is $ 2,000 ---- tell them I'm sorry.  -------------- best wishes,

Frank

Hi Frank,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

Now that you mention it, I have, as you say, created a rich life for myself. But not because my physical circumstances are so great - there's not much about the prison experience that I would call nice, generally, despite some opportunities for creative expression that I have been permitted to have on occasion. If pressed, I would say that the richness in my life springs from my inner landscape, and manifests most in the love and support of my relations and friends.

While I agree with you that Gary behaved stupidly in the situation we became caught up in, not so stupidly as I did. Everyone involved behaved stupidly in that tragedy of errors, but me most of all, from the time I became caught up in the shakey deal with the bikers, to rationalizing that Gary's stupidity was a good enough justification to rob him of his life to preserve my sacred liberty, to thinking I might be able to get away with it. That's just it. I could never run fast enough to escape myself, and the inevitable realization that there is never a valid justification for deliberate murder. That, my friend, is the hardest lesson I ever had to learn.

Bobby

Hi Bobby

My name is Kendyl. I am 24, and an art student in college.

I just visited your website and I really have to say that it is nice to see that you are doing what you love most. Your artwork is beautiful. I am glad that nothing is holding you back from expressing yourself through your music, and am especially glad that you have remained ambitious after all that you have experienced in your past. It is wonderful to see that you didn't resort to anger and loathing. Life is too short to live in hate.

I don't know what else to say really, other than that you should never give up what you love the most. I sincerely admire what you have made of yourself and only hope that you continue to do more. Although the past may be dark, you have created a light to brighten your future.

Thank you for taking your time to read my letter.

Sincerely

Kendyl

Dear Kendyl,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You are so right, life is too short to live in hate. There have been some who have written to express their belief that because of my past failures I should not be permitted to create art and music, to share my work with others via the internet, or to experience the joys of loving relationships. I put myself in a very dark place, and bringing myself back into the light has been a long and difficult road. Expressing myself creatively has been an important part of the process. Everyone, I believe, has the potential to bring something meaningful and valuable to the world, even those of us who have made serious mistakes. I very much appreciate the validation you have given to my efforts, and I look forward to seeing the contributions you make through your own artistic and creative endeavors. I tend to think they will be significant, given your generous spirit.

Sincerely,
Bobby

Hello Bobby,

My name is Bjenny. I’m a musician, song writer and artist and avid reader. Over the years my interest in American culture of the 60's and 70's your name has popped up quite often. Originally I just dug the sound of your name and delved more into your life and have been both impressed and horrified.

Recent research (for personal, musical, artistic and historic interests) led me to your website and I just wanted to let you know that I admire all the positive things you have done in recent years and that you look healthy and happy. I’ve never written to anyone besides I didn’t know but I felt that I just had to get in contact to say hello and that I’m looking forward to getting into all your music that’s available.

Do you have an autobiography?

Are you always writing music?

Anyway just saying hello.

Peace, Bjenny

P.S Is it true you played in the band Love once?

Hi Bjenny,

Thank you for taking the time to write, and for your encouraging thoughts. I appreciate knowing that some of my history and endeavors are of interest to you.

In answer to your first question, no, I do not yet have a biography available. I have written parts of my memoirs, and someday I will finish them and publish them, but not for awhile yet. There's more life yet to live before I write my life story. I am, however, working on a book. It is called "The Family Jam" and it is about the music group of the same name that I was in for a time with Charlie Manson, Dennis Wilson, et al. It is a somewhat fanciful but nevertheless authentic account of the relationships and events that led to such a tragic end.

I compose music in phases. I'm also a visual artist, as well as a musician, and sometimes writer, and I generally focus on one of these modes of expression for months at a time, on an alternating basis.

Yes, I was once a member of Arthur Lee's band, for a brief period of time, but this was before the band's name was changed to Love. I convinced Arthur that he needed a rhythm guitarist in the band, creating that new position. But I played with them only for a couple of months before being replaced by Bryan. It was a good thing, because I left for San Francisco, where I subsequently formed my own band, The Orkustra - a ground-breaking ensemble.

The place to get my music is: www.whitedogmusic.com. New releases will be listed soon.

Peace to you too,
Bobby

Bobby,

How are you? I was wondering if we could be friends. What kind of music do you do. I would like to hear some. Where can I get some of your music to hear. You are alot better looking now than you were all those years ago. You got better with age.

 Hope to hear from you soon!

 Teresa

Teresa,

Some things do - wine, cheese, old furniture, and rock guitar players. Thanks for the compliment!

You can hear my music by visiting www.whitedogmusic.com, where you can download MP3s of some of my songs for free, or purchase my CDs. As I write this, the site is in the process of being updated to include a new listing, the long-awaited collector's edition of my soundtrack for Kenneth Anger's film LUCIFER RISING - a two-CD set. There's also a poster (available on the site) commemorating the new release. It features a picture of me that dates back to the 70s when I recorded the music, when I didn't look nearly as good as I do now. (smile)

Bobby

I was pleased to find out during a recent trip to Ameoba Records, that the Lucifer Rising soundtrack was released with additional music.  I have only been able to listen to this inspiring music from my copy of a copy of the movie.  I heard so much more with this release, the sound (and music) is incredible.  Magikal Powerhouse of OZ is amazing as well.  I also thought the Orkustra was deep and moving but there were only brief excerpts from Punjab's Barber and Flash Gordon.  I wanted to know if all available Orkustra music will be released and/or the full length versions of these songs?  You continue to inspire people, with this release widely available hopefully more and more will hear this timeless music.

Ryan

Hi Ryan,

Many thanks for writing to let me know that you are enjoying the new Lucifer Rising release. The early reviews are just starting to come in, and so far it's all raves. I can't even begin to tell you how gratifying this is.

A small outfit in Switzerland is currently putting together a very limited pressing (500 copies) of the surviving recordings by The Orkustra on vinyl LP. I agreed to give these guys first shot when I granted the license. Shortly afterward we will be putting out our own version of an Orkustra album on CD. This will happen sometime next year. It will include a relatively long story I wrote about how The Orkustra was concieved and brought together, and how it was integrated with the counter culture scene in San Francisco. Sadly, I have so far been able to come up with very few photos of the group, but I've got feelers out.

You may be interested in knowing that I have more music out on CD - four other titles. These are available exclusively at White Dog Music, although Arcanum Entertainment (who put out the double CD of the Lucifer Rising soundtrack project) has indicated an interest in picking them up for worldwide distribution. All of the titles are more recent, having been recorded over the past ten years, all in what some would classify as a progressive symphonic rock style (or what I call soundtracks for flights of the imagination).

Thanks again for the feedback.

Bobby

Dear Bobby,
First of all I would like to say what a change! Since your manson days you have done so much to give back to your community. It's amazing. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions because I'm currently working on an essay for my writing class. If you dont want to answer that's okay but if you do that would be great.
Thank you so much for reading this email. I hope you will answer.
Yours Truly,
Courtney

Dear Courtney,

Thank you for getting in touch.

Years ago, when Barbara and I first decided to put up a website, our decision was predicated, at least in part, upon my willingness to be an open book to those who visit it. So, yes, I am willing to answer your questions (if you promise not to send me so many at once that I am overwhelmed by the task). Ask away. I will answer as best I am able. But please confine your questions to topics that I have not already thoroughly covered in the interviews, etc., on the site.

Very best,
Bobby

Hi Bobby,
I can see from your website that you have left the events of those years far behind you, but I am wondering if you would have a moment to give some insights into how you have led your life since then - and your life now.

I see you have married and are continuing to make music, and are also involved in youth projects. So I am really asking what your hopes are for the future, for your release and what else you would like to achieve.

Many thanks,
Tanith

Naturally, I have an intense desire to join my partner of twenty-five years at our home, to pick up the pieces of my life and explore some of the social and creative opportunities that I have dreamed about for so long. To have something much closer to a normal life, in other words. But I have long ceased doing battle with the vagaries and inconsistencies of a parole system that seems to operate without a clearly defined mission. It is just as painful to try to live in the future as it is to live in the past. So, as much as possible, I keep my focus on what I can do in the present to give meaning and purpose to my life, and to contribute in what ways I can to the lives of others.

When I am released from prison - and I do believe this will happen at some point - I intend to occupy my energies with more or less a continuation of the kinds of work I have been doing in past years while inside, but with fewer restrictions. Menial prison jobs not included, of course. And writing - I have done quite a lot of writing these many years, because it has sometimes been nearly the only form of self-expression available to me. That's one thing I plan to do less of after I'm out of here, at least until I've reached my dotage and it's time to write my memoirs.

Being an artist by nature, both musician and visual artist, I am drawn to looking for ways I can combine these two modes of expression. The skills I have developed as a videographer, providing videos in support of self-motivation and educational training for inmates, will come in handy when pursuing my ongoing interest in independent film. Composing and producing music for film continues to be a passion of mine, and I would love to create some music for Barbara's dance troupe. I frequently receive offers from other musicians who would like me to join with them in musical collaborations. Several manufacturers of music-related equipment and software have offered me opportunities to assist in design and development of musical instruments and tools. These are all in line with much of the work and self-study I have been involved in over the past several decades, and I will undoubtedly find ways to fit some of this in.

Another area of endeavor that beckons to me is continuing work with young people at risk of gang involvement. I see far too many young men - some of them barely out of their teens - coming in here with heavy crimes. It's overwhelming sometimes, like seeing my own multiple reflection in the fragments of a shattered mirror. Many of them come to prison having committed the extreme right of passage for too many young people in western society, that of killing another person for the dubious benefit of proving themselves as men to gain acceptance and a sense of identity in a gang. This is a tragedy of awesome proportions and far-reaching ramifications.

A youth outreach organization on the outside has invited me to go on a speaking tour to schools and youth facilities, assuming the conditions of my parole will permit this. If sharing my experiences with young people will help some of them to avoid turning their lives upside-down the way I did, I will consider it a privilege. Involving myself in this kind of enterprise can only be worthwhile.

But you want to know what I'm going to do first? I'm going to find a nice big tree to sit under, and I'm going to breathe deeply, taking in the world around me - the world I have missed so much.

Bobby

Dear Mr. Beausoleil,

I got a link to your website after looking at charliemanson.com.  His website has a lot of hatred.  Yours was like a breath of fresh air after looking over the other one. 

I guess I should tell you that I read Helter Skelter a long time ago and the whole story has always grabbed my attention.  I am not an obsessed follower or anything. 

I feel truly sorry for what you and the others have had to go through.

I listened to your music.....and as a musician myself, I thought it was excellent.

I just have a few questions.

Are you native american at all?  Some of the stuff seemed like it had native american tones.

Was Pink Floyd one of your favorite bands?  I hope you don't think it insulting in anyway, but the one piece of music I downloaded sounded like some Pink Floyd I have.

I think I will purchase some of your music because you are truly talented and I wish you could be out so you could do even more with it.

I hope to hear back from you.

My name is Heather and it was a pleasure speaking with you.

Thank you,

Heather 

Hi Heather,

Thank you for writing. I have never seen the charliemanson.com site, but many of my friends have. I doubt that Charlie has any connection to it. From what I hear it is just more exploitation of the tragedies - little wonder that you experienced it as being mean spirited.

I am a native of America, but I'm not Native American in the way you mean, just a crazy white boy of French descent. However, I have an appreciation of the earth-based spirituality of the Native American culture, and it was my intention to honor that in the piece I recorded called "Medicine Man". An Indian friend of mine, Jeffrey Cree, sang the vocal parts on that recording.

As it happens, Pink Floyd is one of my favorite bands. They explore sonic textures the way I like to do, so there was a natural attraction from the beginning. I don't consider them an influence so much as kindred spirits - after all, we are contemporaries, so it's more a case of us going in parallel directions, musically. But if you like Pink Floyd, you're probably going to like my stuff too. I hope you will pick up some of my recordings. The most popular release right now is the new double CD package of my soundtrack for Lucifer Rising. My perosonal favorite is Orb, which is much more recent.

Bobby

I want to see your and Barbara's art work, as I paint and all.

Please write back.

Tanya

Hi Tanya,

Barbara and I both thank you for your interest in seeing more of our work. The beausoleil.net site will be updated over the next month or two. When that happens, a BeauSoleil Gallery feature will be added. We'll be featuring a variety of work. Both of us have been painting our tails off, and we'll be showing lots of new pieces in the Gallery, and some older ones as well. Just check in on the site from time to time, as it's not very likely that we'll remember to send you a notice when the updated site goes up.

Bobby and Barbara

Dear Bobby,

I am Program Director for a non-profit organization in Little Rock, AR called Sophia's Center.  We work with incarcerated women both during and after their incarceration, teaching classes in the County Jail and then providing a Mentor Program for them upon release which partners them with a volunteer mentor from the community for one year.

I am very interested in finding the Breaking Barriers video series, but I am having no luck.  Can you steer me in the right direction on this?  It would be more than greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Beth

Dear Beth,

Thank you for writing.

I am no longer with Los Hermanos. I left the organization a few years ago so that I could devote more time to doing work that would be of benefit to a greater number of people in more diverse ways. The other members of the organization had the situation well in hand at that point, and we are all still friendly and supportive of one another's efforts.

I am passing your address along to the organization, and I have been assured that they will get in touch with you. My understanding is that they are out of copies of video series - and frankly, it has gotten to be a bit dated. However, they do have work books available, and I believe these would be of the greatest value in the context of your program - which, by the way, sounds well designed. The Los Hermanos program has been somewhat hampered by our own incarceration. Combining classes during incarceration with post-incarceration mentoring would seem a more comprehensive and effective approach, at least for some.

Best of luck in your endeavors. You are doing important work.

Sincerely,
Bobby BeauSoleil

PS - You may also contact Los Hermanos yourself at the following address:

Los Hermanos Youth Outreach
OSP Activities
2605 State St.
Salem OR 97310

Hi,

just wondering that such a crazy asshole as you are is having an internet-site together with his wife. Nice times in which we are living where mass-murder followers have an Internet-site telling people they make music and how they have changed. Be sure, is there is a real God there is also Hell and your victims that you have killed will all wait for you there. Your wife must be an absolut pervert to go to bed with such a monster as you are. Unfortunately our world is full of crazy people as you and your wife and I am so sorry for it. Hope you will NEVER rest in piece ! You always will be the monster of Manson, don´t forget that...

Greetings

Alain

7.2.04

Alain,

I can feel the pain behind your words. They remind me of a time when the violence of my own poisonous thoughts, and the belief that they were somehow more righteous than the thoughts of other people, made it possible for me to arrive at a judgement that my own self-interests were of greater value than the life of another human being. No one has the inherent right to make such judgements. I speak from personal experience when I tell you, Alain, that your venemous words are not far removed from murder, at least in spirit. Be careful they don't lead you down the same road I've had to travel.

I have opened myself up to whatever you may want to say about me. You may even direct insults at Barbara, though she has not harmed anyone, and is truly beyond your reproach. But the truth is that your judgements speak volumes more about you than they do of either of us, and they are far more hurtful to you than to us.

The beauty of the internet is that everyone may have a voice. Instead of complaining about the site Barbara has created for us, why not put up a site of your own so that other people can get to know you and your opinions?

Peace,
Bobby
(AKA crazy asshole)

Hello,

I appreciate your honest answer to my (in your opinion ) insults. The difference between you and me is that I may think bad about the Manson-followers but I would NEVER kill anyone...there is a big difference between thinking and really doing it. I only am for the death penalty in the case of mass-murderers and child-abusers.. people killing people for fun or a so-called Guru like Manson are not worth to live because they are totally crazy and harm people for nothing and destroy the life of their relatives. For me the Tate-murders are the most horrible things that happened after world-war II - Susan Atkins, Pat and the others should have been killed right away because they are the incarnation of evil. They all now talk about God but it´s to easy to turn now to God because you want forgiveness-don´t you think ? There are things to be forgiven and others who can never be forgiven !

Best regards

Alain

Hello Alain,

Thank you for replying. And thank you as well for tempering the tone of anger you feel about the despicable acts some people commit.

Again, I must say that there is less difference between you and me than you think. I too believed that I would NEVER kill a person . . . until it happened. Maybe it happened because I believed so strongly that such things only happened with other people, so that when I found myself in a really bad situation, I didn't know what to do because I had never given myself the chance to think things through, or know how to deal with the feelings I was having because I had never let myself feel them before.

About forgiveness. Withholding forgiveness is like a kind of emotional self-mutilation, and deeply painful to the person who withholds it. Forgiving a person for something they've done does not mean you condone what they did, or excuse them from the consequences of what they have done. It's more like a way of giving yourself permission to move beyond the pain.

But like you say, falling back on religion can be a cop-out.

Very best to you,
Bobby

Do you think Charlie should've died for what he did to everybody? 

Thomas

Thomas,

It is not my place or my responsibility or my desire to judge who should live or die. I tried that once and look where it got me.

Bobby

i just have one really big question and you may have already answered it but i didnt find the answers....how did you stop thinking the way that manson thought?

C.D.
 

C.D.,

Your question is indeed a big one, and it begs an answer.

The short answer is that I didn't really think in the way Charlie thought. But leaving it at that would not be entirely honest of me, as there were some views and notions we held in common. To the extent that all those of us who were directly involved in the counter-culture movement (not just those in Manson's circle) shared similar views about the issues of our day - the inequities in established society, the war in Vietnam, old versus new valules and morality, religion, music, sex, and so on - we were often in agreement. However, there were a number of topics we did not agree on at all. For example, he could not abide my appreciation of the music of Jimi Hendrix and the old blues greats, many of whom were black - this caused an almost violent reaction in him at times (he didn't want his people exposed to that). In short, I did not share his views on race, nor did I agree with his belief that women were meant to be in a subservient role to men. I'm attracted to women who are self-motivated and who can hold their own in an intelligent conversation. Obviously, this was a sticking point for Charlie. And there were many other disagreements between us that contributed to my being only an occasional visitor, not a resident of his commune.

I was a young man at the time, and looking for role models, and I can not deny that Manson was some influence in my life. If what you are asking is what the turning point was for changing the way I thought then to the much wiser orientation I have now, there wasn't any one point at which this occurred. It has been more like a series of turning points, a gradual process of maturation through much introspection and soul-searching, discarding one by one those beliefs and emotional influences that revealed themselves as invalid or no longer representative of who I choose to be.

Bobby

Dear Mr. Beausoleil- I am writing you today, just a little curious. I have been reading Helter Skelter and I was trying to figure out how you seemingly smart, young, slightly rebelious people could get mixed up with someone as strange as Mr. Charles Manson. As I read through the pages, I often think "what if that happened to me?". In this day and age, almost anything goes. As I am approaching the average age of the young women of the Family, I would just like to know how? How did he talk? How did you live? Why so much "love"? If you could send me an email helping me answer some of these questions, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

Sincerely

Jordan

Think your wrong ........ I am reading a book called The Family and it's sad what happened. All the people who were invloved got screwed over. Do you ever regret meeting Manson to begin with?

Was he as sick and crazy as it was always written about him? 
It's got to be true......
Thomas
 
 

Tom and Jordan,

These questions are too broad to answer in the space of a single email reply. The best that I can do for now, until I have published the book I'm working on, is to hint at the answers. They are important questions, which doubtless accounts for why they are the types of questions I am asked most often. But the questions themselves. . . they are more telling than the answers, because they indicate in a very striking way that the characterizations in the popular media - books like Helter Skelter and The Family, the made-for-TV movies, even videotaped interviews with Manson himself - are something less than entirely satisfying to a great many people. I have come to believe that everyone who encounters this story knows on some instinctive level that much of what they are being told (mostly by people who were not actually a part of it) does not ring true.

Stripping away the falsities from the Manson mythology is an appealing prospect, but an incredibly daunting task. There are so many misconceptions and downright fabrications. Charlie has contributed to the confusion most of all because he has chosen, for the most part, to play-act the role the popular media has cast him into.

I can assure you of one thing for certain: the Charlie you have thusfar seen characterized in books, films and news media interviews bears little resemblance to the Charlie I knew. You ask, like so many do, if he really behaved that way, all crazy and weird. If he had, I would never have had anything to do with him, nor would anyone I knew.

One day the superficial falseness surrounding this story will fall away, revealing it to be far less terrifying and far more tragic than anyone but those who were directly a part of it could possibly imagine.

Bobby

Dear Bobby, I trust you are in receipt of my brief note. My name is Neil and I have read about you in books as well in different internet sites. Though your past deeds were wrong, as you would admit, I think it is honorable and quite decent that you have changed your life around, helping kids and striving to be a mentor and role model.  If you have the time I would really enjoy receiving a quick e-mail back but if lack of time doesn't permit you then it would be enough to know at least you were able to read my honest sentiments. With full respect.

Neil

Dear Neil,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me, and for the sentiments you have expressed. It is gratifying and encouraging to know that others, such as yourself, have recognized value in my life, where once I had been sentenced to death.
Thank you,
Bobby

Hey Bobby-

    I'm in the process of learning about what's happening with your latest musical endeavors and anything else. I'm familiar with your involvement with Arthur Lee and Love but that's about it. I was glad to hear you're still musically involved and working on stuff.

That seems to be an understatement, I didn't know you were a damn inventor! Anyways, you have a fascinating story that I had just skimmed the surface on before. Even with the Manson-related stuff, I enjoyed hearing your side of the story and not in a tabloidy sort of presentation. Let me just say that I can't believe you're still incarcerated, although as far as I can tell it's because of the notoriousness of the case.

    I'll talk about some shit I'm more familiar with now. I've been an avid Love fan for a while, so let me babble on about them for a while. Michael Stuart recently came out with a book that covers I think mainly the mid-60's period of the band. Now Arthur is writing something called "The Book of Love" (but of course!) that I just now heard about. Any plans for a book? Do it just on that one band, you can pass over all the other stuff. It'll be great! Oh yeah, I think Don Conka is still alive and well, Arthur even had him in the last lineup around ten years ago. You probably heard about that Bryan's since left us- sad to hear that Ken Forssi also recently passed (cancer I think). Johnny Echols actually played at two of Arthur's last LA shows. It seems that Arthur is pretty level-headed and is abstaining from the drugs and drink. Not to be nosy but have you been clean all this time? There's been so many casualties of excess, but I guess it goes with the territory. I'm an addict myself (clean and sober for seven months) so I can't help but be curious.

    Are you still in Oregon? I'm down here a little north of San Luis Obispo- good old central coast right? Well, it's a nice climate. Rather be in San Francisco, although that's where I got in trouble with the substances. Well, maybe I'll hearfrom ya soon. Take care and I hope you'll breathe some free air soon.  

Tim

Hi Tim,

Thank you for the update on Arthur and the various members of Love. I was especially pleased to hear that Johnny has been performing with Arthur recently. It was seeing the two of them perform together (more than an interest focused on Arthur), attractively contrasted with Don and Bill, that first moved me to approach Arthur for a spot in the band. I had heard about Bryan's passing, but not Ken's (who I did not know). I was surprised to hear Arthur described as "pretty level-headed." What I've heard is that he is as irascible as ever. This is consistent with an interview he did when on tour in Europe, in which he made some unflattering remarks about me. I think he would like to distance himself from any association with me - presumably because of the Manson connection, and in light of Manson's reputed racial-centric stance it is understandable.

I had heard about Michael Stuart's book, and I plan to pick up a copy at some point. A book of my own is in the works, but it is not about my brief stint with The Grassroots-cum-Love. If I were to write only about that it would be a very short book indeed! Although I resented Bryan at the time for the underhanded way he and his friends lobbied to replace me in the band during my brief absence, I would later become grateful to him for that. Otherwise I might not have moved to San Francisco and formed my own band (and others subsequent) that enjoyed notoriety far from Arthur's shadow. If you would like to know more about these musical exploits, you should check out White Dog Music. The ongoing story is richer than you know.

As for my drug use history, I never progressed beyond pot and some psychedelics. I saw what heroin, crank, barbiturates and alcohol had done to a lot of my friends, and chose to steer clear of the heavy stuff. Smoking pot would severly interfere with my parole, so, though I admit a weakness for it, I have to steer clear of that too. I hope Arthur stays clean and free. And you too.

Thanks again for writing.
Bobby

DEAR BOBBY...

HOW DID U MEET BARBARA AND WHEN?

~KC

KC,

Barbara tells this story better than me.

We met in mid-1981 at the prison in Tracy where I recorded the film soundtrack. I had recently completed the project, and a Sacramento news journalist did a short feature segment about me, with much of the focus on how I had been designing and building musical instruments while in prison. Barbara saw the program, and decided to write me a letter. She said that she was impressed by my having found ways to be creative in such adversity, and wanted to offer a few words of encouragement. She said she also liked the way I moved . . . Well, I invited her to visit me in Tracy, and she did. That was the start of the next big thing in my life - the biggest ever.

Bobby

Dear Mr Beausoleil,

I have just listen to the free tunes on the White Dog website and i found them wonderful. Running with White Wolf brought me tears in my eyes. My name is Martin i am 35. I live near Montreal, Canada. I am living tough time these days but your music really made me feel good tonight.

Thank you for sharing your talent

Martin

Dear Martin,

Finding that some of my music has touched the heart of another soul is the best kind of compliment. I am grateful, and very pleased to know that my music lifted your spirits.

There is a little story behind the song you mentioned, Running with the White Wolf. From childhood until I was arrested as a young man, I had a series of white dogs - Frosty, Snofox, and Hocus - who were my close friends and companions. Later, Barbara got another white dog for me (though I was in prison) and he became a beloved member of the family. His name was "Z" - and they don't come any better. His pictures are on the White Dog site, both as a puppy and as an adult. When he died, everyone was very sad. I wrote the song to honor Z and all the white dogs I had known in my life, who had taught me much of love and nobility. Another name for it might be "Dog Heaven." I had tears in my eyes when I composed it.

Bobby

Bobby,

I don't practice felony criminal defense law but my feeling is that the public is going to oppose paroles in any of the related Manson cases until Manson is dead.  From everything I've read, the others convicted with him have gone to great lengths to disassociate themselves with him and show that they've reformed. A number of years ago I corresponded with Leslie Van Houten and got some very thoughtful letters from her.   But the notoriety of any association with Manson makes me wonder about the fairness of punishing the "followers" as severely as the ringleader who, presumably, was the most culpable.  After all, Albert Speer was convicted of crimes against humanity at Nuremberg but served only 20 or 25 yrs.  Then again, Rudolf Hess, convicted at the same trial, remained in prison his entire life.  I read later that the French, Americans, British and Russians all had to agree to release any of the German war criminals and the Russians refused to ever let Hess out because he had been captured in England in a hairbrained attempt to convince the British to turn on the Russians and join the Germans in a war against Russia. 

Alan

Alan,

I have heard this before, the notion that Manson may have to die before I will be allowed parole. You may be right, but I will not look for my freedom (no matter how intensely I may desire it) at the price of another man's life. Isn't that how I got into this fix in the first place?

A lot of people assume that I am bitter towards Charlie. They naturally believe, given all that has happened, that I would harbor a fierce resentment towards him and think him despicable for all the devastation he has wrought in my life and in the lives of others who loved and trusted him. And I admit, there have been times when I felt and thought that way. But not since I realized that I was only hurting myself more by doing so. Besides, if he proved to be unworthy of the trust invested in him, whose fault was that? Charlie may have been older than me by fourteen or fifteen years, but he wasn't any smarter or wiser, evidently, or practiced at being responsible for the well-being of others. At the end of the day, I must own the consequences of the choices I made. I can hardly hold him to blame for being subject to the same paranoid delusions that so many others of us suffered under during those incredibly intense times. In the end, I can only wish him well and move on with my own life in the best way that I can.

Regarding your comments about the fairness, or lack of it, in holding all of the former associates of Manson to the same level of accountability as him, I must say, Alan, it's worse than you think! Only a lawyer such as yourself who still believes in the ideals of the legal profession, or someone who has never run afoul of the American justice system, would characterize the situation in such terms. By and large, the justice system in this country ceased to be guided by a fundamental sense of fairness quite some time ago. It is driven now by economics and politics underlaid by a fear-based dynamic that is pervasive, and which is grossly amplified and exploited by media "journalists." Western society is like a deer caught in the headlights, paralyzed by uncertainly, unsure of which direction to leap. And I, like all the other blindlings, must await the one-eyed man who may show us the way out of this mess.

Bobby

hope this finds you well,i wish you well in your efforts to win release from prison. i think you are an excellent musician and have done well in turnung your life around.

Thank you for writing. I am hearing this sort of thing quite a lot lately. A good sign, it seems to me.

Bobby

How was Leslie Van Houten? Did you love her ?

I play guitar also.

My best,

Michael

Mr. Beausoleil,

I am a writer living in Texas and ran across your website while researching the life of Leslie Van Houten.  I learned today that she was again denied parole.  I'm glad you have become a positive contributor to life in America, even if it is within the walls that surround you.  Be well and pray fervently.  God has everything under control.

 Gary

Leslie, as I remember her, was a sweetheart - about as inoffensive a human being as you could ever want to meet. . . pretty, fun loving, with a broad smile and a ready sense of humor. It saddens me to hear that she was denied parole yet again. What I know about her crime isn't much, just what I've heard or read, but it is my understanding that she did not actually kill anyone. If what we have been told is true, she was pressured into stabbing one of the victims - a person who was already dead - to make her complicite in the murder as a form of insurance, to prevent her from spilling what she knew to the authorities. The strategy worked - and this is, perhaps, her real crime in the eyes of some, that she did not become a witness for the state. For this she has been in prison for nearly 35 years. It stopped being about justice a long time ago.

Bobby

 
Mr. Beausoleil 
Why can't you just come out and admit that all you people were just crazy to follow him and that's he's a luney tune? Your in your predicament because you guys thought he was Jesus Christ.You really think that Krenwinkle,Van Houten, Atkins,Squeaky Fromme were normal rational people? It was right to kill the Tate's- LaBianca's? Tex Watson's a sane person? Oh give me a break!!!! And don't insult America's intelligence. Do us a favor. Believe me: Sharon Tate, Sebring, Frykowski, Parent didn't deserve to die that way. The''Family'' fell apart and it drove Charlie CRAZY. He'll never
get out. It'll soon be 36 years since those murders took
place. And you guys are paying for it. I read in my book that Charlie didn't have a prayer. And he's an old man today. Tell me something
do you have any contact with anyone from the Family? 
 
Van Houten, Atkins, Krenwinkle all are looking old. Squeaky, too. And she's in prison for life for trying to kill Ford. And her pistol wasn't set right. I am enjoying the book, and it dosen't show a different side of Charlie boy. It showed him as he was. A crazy psyco killer who got what he deserved. By right he should've died for what he did, instead he's a famous killer who'll go down in history as a dangerous person.